Gotta go, I have a date.

Dating 101 according to me.

1. Master the bro hug. This is a necessity. Some really grossie joesies will go for the back of your throat on that first awkward date. If necessary, feign asleep on the drive home, ThEN the bro hug.

2. Do not fall for the lines. They all have them. And some deliver them sooooo well. But they are full of $hite. Totally. They have one goal...at least at first. Refer to point number 1.

3. Know the deal breakers for you. And don't date anyone AT ALL that is outside that perimeter. You never know who you are going to fall in loke with.... That guy who works part time and smokes pot pretty regularly BUT you have so much fun and the best.chemistry.ever.since.creation.of.chemistry? Run. Your heart is going to get broken. One way or another. Had enough of that, haven't you? I sure as heck have.

4. Have fun. Think of every date as your beginning and not your end. Don't overthink ANYTHING. Just enjoy the experience. The more first dates the better.... Really. You will learn what your are attracted to and even better what you are NOT. And let's be honest, free food and new places you would never otherwise go. Embrace that crap.

5. Figure out who YOU are. You may find you like the artistic passionate guy OR you may like that crazy type A guy. Was married my whole life to door number two. Who knew he isn't even my type? Crazy. Ding ding ding!!! Hindsight does wonders for my soul sometimes.

6. Don't be anyone you are not. If he doesn't like you, do you really want to be with him?  I am freakin awesome. Really. So hey, if he doesn't see that, no matter how freaking perfect he feels, I don't want to be anywhere near that shit. Been there. Married that.

7. Did I say enjoy that crap? Even the bad dates. Take a toilet selfie and send it to your friends. Have fun on every date. The dates I was so nervous? I ruined. They never saw ME. Drink a glass of wine while getting ready if need be. Take a deep breath and just have fun.

Lastly, you have superpowers you don't even realize you have -aside from the rack (see point #2)....you have survived hell and are still breathing, smiling again, standing taller. And I don't know about you, but after divorce I found out I am freaking beautiful. Who new?? I will tell you who. The person I end up dating forever. He will have no doubt. Oh and now, more importantly ME. I know. And no asshole will ever be able to make me feel 'less than' again. and if he does, MORE FIRST DATES yesssssss.....