DMV and knees knocking

Sitting in DMV trying to figure out how I register my car in just my name and realizing how ill-prepared I am for life on my own. He called yesterday-of course only about money.  He wants to work money out on our own so attorneys cost less. If he were the person I used to know, I would believe him and agree. But of course he is not that person anymore. It's kind of funny-I am not sure he could hurt me more so what is he hiding?  He is so cold and detached-really a long way from caring about me. Like years from caring about me in any real, true way. So why did he let me think he was wanting to work on this? It really just is so cruel. I could be so much further along than I am. Way less damaged than I am. Why purposefully keep me hanging on? Why purposely inflict more heartache on me?  What caused him to hate me that much? And how the hell did he die and I miss it? So here I sit in DMV in the middle of all these total strangers, trying to hide my trembling. I am a strong woman. Is any woman or man is strong enough for this ride? I want off. Pleaee let me off this ride.