Except...

What do I want to do with my life? What do I want my life to look like? Well I can't go back and start over but I do sort of have that opportunity now. A new life. A new chance to do it right, to go for my dreams..... Except I can't remember my dreams. I can't remember what it feels like to not be dead inside. I can't remember what it feels like to genuinely laugh, heck, genuinely smile. Are there any real people out there who have more than just survived this but are thriving and whole again? If they exist, Lord please put one in my path. I need to know how they did it! Need them to hold my hand as I learn this new dance. Never mind. I don't want to need anyone to hold my hand again!! Lord, help me learn to stand alone, dream, imagine, DO, on my own leaning only on You! Oh and genuinely smile without my heart breaking underneath, too. Am I being greedy now??