August 3, 1985. 29 years ago I went on a first date with the most amazing guy. He had the biggest heart, deep character, respect, manners.....and he loved me with a very pure, honest, to the core, forever, safe kind of love. He was the best man I have ever known.
August 3, 2014. 29 years later, I am here, alone, heartbroken with a giant question mark over my whole life. In my naïveté, I still believe he is a good man. Am I crazy? Is he REALLY a good man who made awful, wicked, destructive, evil evil evil choices or have I just been naive, stupid, BLIND my whole life?? I choose to believe he is a good man. That first date led to a life I loved, to a family I miss terribly, to smiles and laughter and tears and heartbreak that we endured TOGETHER. I don't regret my life or my choice to go on that first date. I don't regret going on the second, or the thousandth. Where did we get so lost and how in the heck did I miss it??
Damn. Today might suck.
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