Driving 4 hours round trip to watch my precious grandson play football and I got a phone call. My mother in law is in the hospital and it doesn't look good.
No more round trip today. I won't be going home tonight after football. No clothes, no toothbrush, no PILLOW but my brother in law says it doesn't look good.
Well they may not have been clean 24 hours later, but I obviously had my big girl panties on. My mother in law (or outlaw as I have been known to call her) has been wretched to me on occasion....many occasions...many,many, many occasions. But I am sad. She is my family. My brother in laws,their wives and kids are my family. I love them even in the middle of this crazy family. So with a sick, nervous stomach I went to see her today at the hospital.
And my heart broke.
She hugged me and sobbed and told me she loved me. I fed her lunch. I tried to calm her when the hallucinations came. We laughed and cried and she never even flirted with wretched and my heart broke. She talked about her boys. She loves her boys. She idolizes her boys. My husband has always been her pride and joy but I saw something today that would kill him. In the middle of laughing, when his name came up, sorrow crossed her face, tears poured down her cheeks. More than once. Just a passing reference to him and there was that sorrow shadow over her face.
He has broken his momma's heart as well.
And she is ill...very ill. And you know what? So is he-in a totally different way. In sickness and in health...is this the kind of sickness God had in mind?.uggg. My brother in law hugged me for the longest time before I left. He is mad at his brother. Did HE even have the slightest clue how many people he would hurt? The wake of destruction he would leave behind his selfish choices?? Nope he couldn't see past his newly self destructive crazy to think about anyone else. The irony in all this.....he is more broken and sick than anyone....and my heart breaks. And this is survival weekend. And I wore my big girls panties even as my heart breaks.
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