I am great

It freaking hurts, just to be, much less anything else. I hear his oh so confident, 'I'm doing great without you' voice and I want to throw up. I want that voice. I should be the one with that voice-making his stomach hurt, making his heart break, making him want to scream 'I miss you. I love you. What happened to my life?',  making him remember and realize what he is throwing away....I am great. Really. I am beautiful, in my own sort of way. I am hilarious-well sometimes. I am the best kisser in the planet. I am a moderately good cook. I willingly crash on mountain bikes just to be with you.   I can hold my liquor and cuss like a sailor when need be. I am kind-more kind than the average person If you ask me, with the biggest, most giant, soft heart. I am loyal to the death like a dang puppy. I am nobody's garbage. I am a survivor not his dang victim. I can stand on my own......at least I can pretend I can...when inside it freaking hurts, just to be, much less anything else.