6 months post D-Day, actually almost 7. whoo hoo (lower case on purpose). Every time I think it is getting easier I have a week like this one. Why is this week so hard? hmmmmm because I found out he cheated for 5 years, actually almost 6. No new shock, no new wound, just the same shock, the same pussing wound.
I have never blogged before but need some outlet so decided to give this a try. Cyber journal. Maybe someone will read it and it will help them through this living hell and hopefully in the process I can work through some crap myself.
Yep, my perfect world, my perfect husband, my perfect love was a lie. I am disenchanted. Ella Disenchanted. Working toward living happy in my imperfect world, forgiving my imperfect husband, loving and receiving love fully in this scary place. Welcome to my world, as ugly as it is, it is full of truth.
3 comments:
Hi Ella
I found your blog through Shawn's blog. I think writing and getting it out to be very cathartic. Good for you.
I commented to you last night on Shawn's blog. Yep another sleepless night but not because of the betrayal. Well maybe a little so I check up on my blogging sisters.
There are many of us out there and our stories have similar motifs. Mine like yours is the affair was long term. Four years to be exact. Yep she was a whore to. No a real money grubbing whore. I hate her too. I know God loves her as much as he loves me but REALLY? I think he's also pretty pissed at her because she has had a butt load of bad Karma and I have been lucky enough to get to watch.
Keep writing and hearing from the rest of us. We are truly fonts of knowledge and help.
Good luck to you. I'm listening so rant away sister:)
Ahhhh thanks for the encouragement. This does suck doesn't it? Hang in there. We can do this together!!
Ella
I also like Emotional affair Journet blog. A couple named Doug and Linda run it. It's very good. They have a Higher Healing section that has a lot of articles and information. They even have mentors. There is a fee to it but it's like $10 a month. Totally worth it. I've found the healing hearts boards frustrating and hard to navigate. I will tell you to try and read everything you can get your hands on. I've read books about liars and how to spot them, narcissists, and of couse dozens of books about infidelity. Egads what Amazon must wonder about my personal life.
This betrayal will affect every relationship you have. It is insidious, invasive and pervasive. I have also spoken to on psychiatrist, two therapist and one marriage counselor but the most help I have gotten is conversing with women who have been through the same thing I have. It is imperative to find help and confidantes. I have found that even my well intentioned BFF's have no clue and in the end they just really don't want to listen to it anymore. I really had to do my own work. Even therapists are limiting but I still go. Seems like something else is always cropping up. I actually had a mild nervous breakdown. Shocking I know:). I too was always thought of as strong and independent but this has rocked me to my core.
If you like you can email me privately if you want to talk one on one. I've been there and still am. I could also enumerate all the books to you rather than taking up space on your blog.
I'm here if you need someone to talk to or just listen
Yes this club sucks but it's a great character and strength building experience.
Let me know:)
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