November Rain

It is November.....which means holidays and memories of holidays. Aside from the past few years, I have loved the holidays.

 My favorite memories of all time are when our kids-even up to (legally :) ) adulthood, would both come lay in our bed with us. Our legs and bodies all pretzeled so we would fit. We giggled and talked and just loved each other. The whole world stopped during those moments. I would give about anything to have a moment like that again. Pure joy.

This year, I am alone.

My kids on the other side of the world. My love is in another state. Yes, I have family here and I am so grateful to be close to them. I am totally aware they are God's gift of grace to me during this time. But they have families, and their own 'moments' to have.

 And I miss my family.

And my moments.

I have questioned whether it ever really existed but with some healing and some time since my world exploded, I, without a doubt, KNOW we did exist.

 My husband took a ridiculously awful wrong turn and the consequences seem to never end BUT before all that-we had a good life...sometimes great life.

 I miss it.

And I miss him.  A lot.

Get ready Ella, here come the holidays.